Why dolphins are depressing

Blubbery sadness

So as everyone who spends time on the internet is aware, dolphins are pretty smart; dolphins are so smart that their intelligence is comparable to that of a mentally challenged human, a claim which has had some interesting consequences both scientifically and morally. Of course since you spend so much time on the internet — you have to to find this blog — you probably also know that dolphins have a history of violence and sadism which is also comparable to humans.

The reason that this is depressing is because humans and dolphins are the two most intelligent species on the planet and yet we’re also the most senselessly violent; gang rape, killing for fun and infanticide are just some of the deplorable activities apparently enjoyed by both species, and it gets worse. Wanton cannibalism is a known practice of chimpanzees, the third most intelligent animal on this great blue home of ours.

What I’m driving at is that extremely high levels of intelligence are linked with complex communication, tool use and specific social patterns but what if the capacity for violence is also a hallmark of intelligence in species? Obviously not all humans, dolphins and chimpanzees are murdering rapists but why are the three most intelligent species on this planet also the most violent? And is this a trend which extrapolates beyond our solar system?

It’s not hard to see why intelligence could be an important factor in the capacity for violence: most animals are simply looking to survive from day to day and therefore they “think” purely in terms of pros and cons and risk evaluation, like paranoid actuaries they are continuously weighing odds and making unbiased decisions on what actions to take. Intelligence allows us to separate from this primitive thought process and do things because we want to; ego, desire and entertainment enter the equation and become powerful modifiers which distort reasoning and sometimes lead to violence.

Classy Mechanics